Celebrating the big 4-0 with a message of gratitude
Last week I went to the beach for my 40th birthday. I used my big birthday celebration to get a whole bunch of family including my sister, father, uncle and cousins to the North Carolina coast with their toddlers - my sister, dad and her young kids flying across the country from California on what was sure to be a grueling trip. Somehow, playing with young kids on the beach was exactly what I wanted to do to celebrate my birthday - sandcastles, swimming, sunshine, body surfing with Django (our German Shepherd), fish fries, eating homemade sandwiches sandy and exhausted from the beach and the sun. I was so anxious about so many people committing to this big trip in the heart of the intense, completely unpredictable and much more expansive hurricane seasons we’ve been having. So I didn’t let myself get too excited - in case we all had to cancel at the last minute.
But then the week came - we arrived on a sunny beach at a beautiful beach house perched next to this giant ocean - everybody got there safely and on time. Yet, alongside the miraculous ease with which we were all able to come together - I felt this inner anxiety - what a wild thing to be on a sunny beach in one part of the state when in the Western part families are missing, roads are gone, life has shifted forever.
The part of North Carolina we were in could have been destroyed - it might be gone next year. We are living in times where the preciousness of the moments we get feels so deep, rich and heavy - time almost shimmers with it. I found myself shifting from this anxiety and guilt at our blessings alongside so much destruction and despair to a place of deep gratitude - a realization that this gift is here right now - the gift of having breakfast peering down over the wild curls of my 3 year old nephew or hold a jiggly baby in a rocking chair watching the waves and thinking about how my mom held me just like this many years ago.
Both paths are open to us - guilt and anxiety - shame at the blessings we receive - or gratitude - the really big intense kind that recognizes that there are absolutely no guarantees about tomorrow - that this very precious moment jumping over waves with a 3 year old or teaching your shepherd to body surf with you or cuddling with your partner listening to the waves while the sun rises - those are the only moments you are guaranteed. But that doesn’t have to make them sad - rather it can shift our focus so we are just here in this moment. Taking it all in.
So I wonder - can we find freedom in this - in the beautiful, soul shaking, sometimes terrible, fear and glory inducing present moment? Can we grab our attention back from our dumb smart phones and realize that this precious week, this precious day, this precious moment is all we have. If God gives you a beach trip with your family or a lovely family dinner, or a great moment at work - wrap yourself all the way around that moment and hold on for dear life.